Trying To Find My Way: An Artist's Journey

Reflection & gratitude..

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Hello Creative Souls,

First and foremost, thank you for being here, your encouragment, kind comments, and quiet support have meant so much to me throughout my journey as a full-time artist. This past 3 years has been a time of great change, growth and rediscovery, personally and artistically, and I am deeply grateful to have shared it with you all.

So, where has this reflection come from? This afternoon I thought I had better take some time to update my website - to be honest I have gone down a bit of a rabbit hole as the website was created a few years ago now and I have somewhat changed, as an artist, my art style, the type of materials I like to use to create art and the way I share my creations, so grab a cup of tea, get cosy, I am going to tell you a story of how I got here.

When I first began painting as an adult I focused on watercolours, being inspired by a friend who was on her own watercolour journey. I was lead down a path of botanical watercolour and wildlife pieces. My friend was undertaking an ecology degree and so we found ourselves, having changed careers, being able to spend more time outside in nature, whether it was walking the country and woodland paths or rock pooling on a Dorset beach, we were both reconnecting to Mother Earth. A new appreciation of nature, a learning, a growing, a healing started to happen, albeit gradually.

With the botanical art came a constant searching for perfection, often feeling constrained and disappointed with my finished pieces, finding the imperfections before anyone could criticise or judge my work, only sharing my creations with my closest friends and family. I constantly put down my art before anyone else could, but the people I shared it with only ever complimented me and told me how talented I was. I decided to change how I looked at my art and started seeing what I had achieved, how it had improved with practise, the knowledge and confidence I was gaining along the way and stopping the negative self talk.

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Billy Showell Online Class - Aubergine painted using Sennelier watercolours

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I took online classes and workshops with Anna Mason and Billy Showell, who shared their watercolour secrets. What brushes and paints to use, what paper was best to use, different techniques and styles. I had entered a whole new world, understanding that knowledge really is power. These fabulous artists encouraged their students to share their work with others, for which I did, people outside of my trusted inner circle. I was overwhelmed by the positve comments and feedback, realising that actually my friends and family were telling me the truth when they said they liked my artwork.

So why am I sharing this with you now? Well, it's been over 3 years since I turned 50 years old and took the plunge to start a website, write a blog, put myself out there. I didn't quite know where this path would take me, but what I did know is that I wanted to encourage others to create art, to feel happy to share their story with others too. Art isn't meant to be perfect, it's an expression of how you feel on the inside. This knowledge shouldn't be kept guarded, it needs to be shared far and wide to help and encourage others.

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"If you hear a voice within you say, ‘You cannot paint,’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced” – Vincent Van Gogh

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At the same time I launched my website I decided to start a sketchbook after seeing artist's online doing the same thing. I had always just drawn and painted straight onto paper so this was a new concept for me. Keeping a sketchbook changed everything, I allowed myself to experiment with mixed media, I didn't even realise that there was such a wide array of art mediums out there! It was so exciting, it was freedom, it was expression - I finally felt joy whilst creating, not tension and worry that I might go wrong. Just as a quick side note, there is a list of all my favourite art materials on this website.

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Loose mixed media landscape in my sketchbook

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More recently I started painting loose landscapes, putting the self doubt aside, I just went for it, making marks on the page using acrylics, oil pastels, Neocolor II, graphite, watercolour sticks, you name it, I think I may have tried it! I was inspired by the Jurassic and Cornish Coastlines, and more recently, the beauty of Cumbria. I have gone from painting with my head to painting with my heart, embracing a more relaxed, expressive and liberated style.

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"To practice any art, no matter how well or how badly, is a way to make your soul grow, for heaven’s sake. So do it.” – Kurt Vonnegut

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As I update my website to reflect the artist I have become, I feel a renewed sense of purpose and excitment. I am thrilled to also share that my YouTube channel now offers a membership - where supporters can join me in this creative journey, access exclusive content which helps me to continue exploring and sharing my art. You can become a Creative Ladybird for just £2.99 a month.

PLA YouTube Channel 🐞

This art journey has been a profound and transformative experience, taking me through a myriad of challenges and personal battles. I have faced days filled with the relentless pain that accompanies rheumatoid arthritis (RA), a condition that has tested my physical limits and often left me feeling vulnerable and isolated. The discomfort and stiffness that come with RA can sometimes make it difficult to engage in creative and social activities, yet it is during these very moments of struggle that I have found a deeper connection to my art. Each brushstroke or pencil line becomes not just a form of expression, but also a therapeutic release, allowing me to channel my discomfort into something beautiful and meaningful.

In addition to the physical challenges posed by RA, I have also navigated the emotional turbulence brought on by menopause. This transition has introduced a range of symptoms that can be overwhelming, including low mood, hot flushes, and a sense of disconnection from my own body and other people. Yet, through these experiences, I have discovered that art serves as a powerful outlet for processing these changes. Creating art has provided me with a sanctuary where I can explore my feelings and emotions, transforming moments of frustration and confusion into vibrant expressions of resilience and strength.

Furthermore, I have grappled with mental anxiety and the weight of grief, which have at times felt like insurmountable burdens. The anxiety can be paralyzing, leading to moments of self-doubt and fear about my artistic abilities and my place in the world. However, I have learned that sharing my journey and my struggles through my art can create a sense of community and connection. It is incredibly uplifting to realise that I am not alone in these experiences; many artists and women face similar battles, and by sharing our stories, we can support and inspire one another.

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Acrylic and Neoarts on wooden board, Cornish Coast by Clare

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As I reflect on this journey with a heart full of gratitude, I recognise the importance of the connections I have forged with fellow artists who are also navigating their own paths of struggle. Together, we uplift each other, offering encouragement and understanding. It is a powerful reminder that art is not just a solitary endeavour; it can be a collective experience that fosters empathy and solidarity among those who create.

The last 3 years and prior to that has become not only about personal healing and expression, but also about inspiring others who may be facing their own challenges. I strive to create art that resonates with those who are struggling, to let them know that there is beauty in vulnerability and strength in sharing our stories. Every piece I create is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit, and I hope that through my work, I can encourage others to embrace their own journeys, no matter how difficult they may be. Together, we can create a tapestry of shared experiences that celebrates both our struggles and our triumphs in the world of art.

It's so nice to be here, writing a blog on my website again, having given up on Substack. I will be updating the shop gradually to include some of my Cornish coast inspired pieces and if you'd like to support my journey further, I warmly invite you to subscribe to my YouTube channel. You can become a free member over on my Patreon, where at the moment I share my monthly newsletters, resource photographs, photography by James Burge, wildlife photographer and my sketchbook prompts list. I say at the moment because sometimes it feels like I am shouting into a void! Just one of the struggles of trying to be seen in this great big pond of arty fishes, so please leave me a comment right here, I read them all and it really encourages me to keep going and to not give up.

PATREON

Thank you again for being here with me.

Stay naturally curious...

Clare xx